i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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