i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
