dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize