I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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