I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
love makes seman taste better
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Randomize