and you said cock pushups were impossible
My pussy is not your playground.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
