I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
