So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
