For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
