Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
