OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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