I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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