Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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