Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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