She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
