she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize