She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
