I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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