she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize