who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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