Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize