Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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