Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
