I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you will always have a special place in my vag
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Well I just put wine in my tea
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
