you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
