I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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