Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
