I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
