HIV tests are more positive than that guy
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
