community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
