That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
