I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
