he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
