oh god the rape fog is back!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
