a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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