Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
