Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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