I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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