woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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