We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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