I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Randomize
