You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
