Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
These tits shall not be calmed
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
