one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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