whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
