I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My nipple is on Facebook.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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