I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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