I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
