Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
