Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
only if we run a train.
done.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
