I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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