What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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