And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
