return my video game
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I cockslap morals
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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