god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Randomize
