My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
