He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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