Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
