You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
