well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
