this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
