Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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