The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
