Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
