This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Screwed.edu
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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