i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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