how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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