If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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